The Vasectomy Song Chords

[Verse 1]
C
Well, I went to see my doctor,
                             G
I said, "Doc, I can’t pay my bills
 
The rent’s all spent and my truck’s got a dent
                              C
And I think I’m a-gettin’ the chills
 
From bein’ forced to sleep alone,
                            F
Oh, this house just ain’t a home
         G
We can’t afford no more kids
 
My life is on the skids
                                 C
Cause my woman says, ‘Leave me alone’
 
 
[Chorus]
                  G
Unless I get a vasectomy,
                  C
I gotta get a vasectomy
      G
Just one little male alteration,
    C
Can save us from another altercation
       G                           C
It’s a vasectomy, I gotta get a vasectomy
          F         G           C
Oh what a vas deferens it could be."
 
 
[Verse 2]
C
Well, the next thing I knew
 
I was layin’ on the table
                              G
With the lights shinin’ in my eyes
 
They strapped my wrists
 
And they strapped my ankles
                            C
And they double strapped my thighs
 
The nurses were gigglin’
                                  F
And I was wigglin’ most uncomfortably
         G
When the doctor walked in with a perverted grin
                           C
And here’s what he said to me,
 
"It only hurts for a little while
                 Am
That’s what they tell me
 
That’s what they say, eh heh heh."
 
 
[Verse 3]
C
Well, it’s two weeks later
 
And I feel a little better
                       G
And my mind is more at ease
 
The rent’s still spent,
 
My truck’s still got a dent
                           C
But my woman’s no longer a tease
 
And even down at the office,
                               F
There’s a lot more interest in me
        G
Oh, the girls all grin when I walk in
                          C
And brother, they mean to please
 
 
[Chorus]
               G
A man with a vasectomy,
                   C
You oughta get a vasectomy
 
Well, like a Sunkist orange, I’ve been freed
      C
Cause it’s all juice and there’s no seed
         G
With a vasectomy,
                   C
You oughta get a vasectomy
           F        G            N.C.
Oh, what a vas deferens it could
 
Now here is the part that I like the most
 
It takes the danger out of bein’ close
       F        G            N.C.
Want a vas deferens it could
 
The snipped those little suckers right in two
 
And they clamped ‘em off with Super Glue
       F        G            C
What a vas deferens it could be
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