Divorce Chords

Artist: Billy Connolly
Song: D.I.V.O.R.C.E
 
[Verse 1]
G                                        C                 G
Our little dog is six years old and he's smart as any damn kid
    G                              A                   D
But when you mention the V.E.T. he damn near flips his lid
G                           C        G
Words like S.H.O.T. shot or W.O.R.M. worm
C                    G                D    G
These are words that make him S.Q.U.I.R.M. squirm
 
[Verse 2]
    G               C            G
His Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today
G                         A            D
Coz he bit the V.E.T. and then he ran away
          G                                            C                 G
He caused me and my wife to have a big fight, and then, both of them bit me
    C               G                   D   G
And that's why I am gonna get a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
 
[Verse 3]
    G                                               C           G
She shouted "get him Rover," and he jumped over, and bit my L.E.G.
G                                   A                  D
She sank her teeth in my B.U.M. and called me an effin C.
      G                                       C         G
Well, I'm telling you, that was my cue, to get O.F.F. - ski
    C                     G                           D   G
And I'm going down to the town tonight to get a new B.I.R.D.
 
[Verse 4]
            G               C            G
Oh yes, his Q.U.A.R.A.N.T.I.N.E starts today
G                                       A               D
Both my wife and my wee scabby dog will soon be hauled away
G                                          C                  G
That's why I spell out all of these words, so as my dog can't hear
      C               G                 D     G
Oh, I must admit that dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer
          C             G                 D    G
Oh yes, I must admit my dog is acting Q.U.E.R. queer
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